Monday, March 24, 2008

CTA, My Way

So, with gas prices soaring and my wallet thinning, I have decided that it was time to put myself on a budget. I examined the expenses and came up with some ways to cut back on my spending. One, of course, is this journey I am on of quitting smoking (those too have skyrocketed in price over the last couple of years). Another way I have came up with, with the help of my insightful girlfriend, is to start taking public transportation to work. Today, Monday March 24 of 2008, was the first time experimenting with this public transportation known as the CTA - Chicago Transit Authority.
I took it on the chin and rode the eighty-nine blocks from my home to work with the everyday'ers that treat the CTA as if it were their own personal vehicle. I do have to admit though, it was not as bad as I thought it would be. I know on my ride I would encounter not only the "weirdos" that ride the bus just for fun, but also the trash that abides in the bad neighborhoods that I would have to ride through in order to achieve my destination.
Of course, my place of employment is in a bad neighborhood, so I am quite used to walking around with my eyes open and my ears up.
I sat there, in my hard plastic seat, watching, waiting for the throw down where I would have to display my abilities of running away. But that did not arise and I was able to keep my pride for yet another day.
I have not taken public transportation since I was in college, riding everyday to downtown Chicago where I would weather the cold and the hot and everything inbetween. The CTA is definitely more advanced now with computerized voice overs announcing each stop along the way and also when the doors would be opening or closing.
Quite impressive.

Anyway, as I sat glutted on the eighty-nine block ride back home, I had nothing better to day but pay attention to the computerized voice that is still playing in my head. As I listened I heard something interesting and grammatically incorrect. I played back the recording in my mind and came up with a story that made myself chuckle, and also kept me entertained as I waited for my stop to approach.

The recording said, and I quote, "Be courteous. Stand up for passengers with disablilities, elderly passengers and EXPECTED mothers. Thank you for riding the CTA".

So I was entertaining myself with the idea of a man who would not stand up for a woman because she was pregnant for he did not see it to be courteous since she was unexpected and not a mother as of yet.
I was entertaining the idea that he would interview her with questions like "are you a mother?" and if she did answer yes I was thinking he would ask "were you expected?" and if she said no than he would merely let her stand for she did not fit the criteria set forth by the recording.
Then, a woman with a stroller boarded the bus soon after my thoughts took over.
She had crooked eyebrows!
I know women like to pluck their eyebrows so they do not appear to be so bushy, but don't women also make sure they pluck them evenly so they look presentable? This just set my mind racing toward a Seinfeld episode.
I thought of Kramer on the bus asking those questions. I thought of Kramer pointing out the crooked eyebrows. I thought of Kramer sitting next to George, telling him not to stand up for it was not necessary.
I thought of Kramer giving beauty tips that he had learned from his friend Bob Sakamono. Then I thought of Elaine inquiring about the father only to find out it was a bastard child, which would then set off a rant about the decline of humanity.

Next thing I knew, my stop arrived.
Eighty-nine blocks and I kept Seinfeld on the air for another episode.

How can a day get better than that!

Not exciting, I know, but hey, just thought I would share this with you.

1 comment:

Angela said...

are you sure it's not "expectant"...? I never noticed that. You should have Mat teach you a few moves in case you ever need them!