"I don't know how to see the same things different now"
Isn't that the truth!
That is a line from a Counting Crows song, Insignificant.
That kind of sums up where I am at right now. I am trying to look at myself and my life and life in general different that what I once did. It is very tough though. When I was younger, a teenager, I thought life was pretty cut and dry. You live, you die, you go to heaven or hell.
Pretty easy, huh.
Well, I am not so sure it is so easy anymore. Only things I can be sure of is that you live and you die. That isn't enough though, is it?
Seems to me to be a very resentful life. I mean, we as humans, the smartest species upon this planet, are given no means but to live and die while the animal kingdom is very specific about their lot in life.
Even the plants and trees and flowers have their reasons. Are we merely here to give life to the world with the carbon dioxide that is disposed from our lungs and into the trees for life?
Are we merely here to figure out what the animal and plant lifes' are here for?
It amazes me that we know so much about the other species living on this planet, but when it comes to our existence we are still so incredibly unclear.
We are nothing but theories and "what ifs" as we claim to take power over all living things. But what if all other living things were here to take power over us?
For as smart as we believe ourselves to be, we sure do act very stupidly. The plants, the trees, the animals that we need to survive, that this planet needs to survive, are being killed in vein with excuses of a better life for humans. But yet, we need these living creatures to survive, and yet we kill them thinking it betters our life and the means by which we live it?
I don't know about you, but I am not impressed with this thought process. It is time, to me, to step back and see ourselves outside of our bodies to find the answers we truly need.
We are merely natures pawns in its own existence, and if we think we can hold back nature, then we are truly the dumbest species on this planet.
To steal from Gary Zukav, the author of "The Seat of the Soul", we need to start searching for authentic empowerment instead of external empowerment. Meaning, we need to stop trying to control all that is not meant to be controlled. We need to start searching inside ourselves for wholeness, for that better way of life that not only suits us, but suits all that abides on this planet with us in hopes for a harmonious union.
Yes, it is hard to see these same things different, but it is not impossible.
We need to stop looking for leadership over our lives from governments or even friends or family members and learn to use them as guidance. The leadership you need is within yourself and only that can truly empower you toward a life that is filled with reason and necessity.
This is where I am at. I no longer want to follow the path of the one that I believe should lead me. I want to follow my own path with the guidance of the ones I consider a teacher.
Never doubt yourself even when questions are present. We all have the answers, we just need to be able to answer that question when we ask it.
There is no longer a need to look outside yourself, all we need is to look inside ourselves and find faith in you, find faith in your answers.
Find faith in your journey that will lead you whether it be right or wrong, for we will all find what is needed to be found at that time, in our own place.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
"I don't know how to see the same things different now"
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Well, here I am again.
I know I have taken off for awhile, but I do have to say that it was an intentional sabbatical. I have written and I have wrote and I have taken for granted everything I thought I knew from just the want of knowledge.
I am on a new path. I am on a horizontal path to find the vertical path that I must journey so I will be able to save my splintered soul from ignorance.
I am an addicted, self absorbed, prejudicial, son of a bitch that has lived a life of ignorance with hopes of becoming "somebody".
I have pent up anger that shows its ugly face when the times call for understanding and resolution. I have caravaned through thirty years of life believing that I am. But, you know what? I am!
Everybody is something that is merely bound to an earth that tells us what we could be. I have chosen to escape this mindset of repetition and solidarity so I too can connect to what is pure and simple.
We live in a world. A world that protects us with all of its might and glory. We do not even care.
We come up with names like god and lord and holy spirit to better understand what we will never understand.
Sometimes, most of the time actually, not understanding is the most glorious notion that a human being can feel. I thought at one time, not long ago, that understanding and knowing was the only way of knowing yourself and your capabilities.
If we did understand and know what everything is, would we still want to exist? Would we still proceed on this journey that sometimes feels like it is going nowhere?
I am addicted. I see this now.
I am addicted to nicotine. I am addicted to the feeling that overwhelms my body and my spirit with each drag that consumes me.
I am addicted to ignorance. I am addicted to stereotypes. Most of all, I am addicted to hatred.
For hatred is the explanation of all my anger, my frustrations. Hatred breeds anger, but what breeds hatred? For that is mere ignorance.
It is ignorance of the fact that there is more than "I" happening in a world full of people wanting to know: "What is in it for me?"
It is the end all be all of everything that I wish I could change.
I have chosen a new path. I have come into that proverbial light of being. I am done merely existing. I am through with the anger that only causes myself more pain with no maturation of my soul.
We all will come to a point where the perceptions of this world will leave us numb. We will all, at one time, try to break through the stone caste that keeps us grounded to a life filled with rules and regulations on our thoughts.
My caste has shattered and one piece at a time is crumbling to the holy ground that houses my being. Houses my physical world in hopes that the nonphysical world of mine will protect its life.
I feel the pain now. I feel the unfairness that mankind has bestowed upon this planet with hopes of empowerment that is only suited to the individual, not the whole. We must believe, for we are our change. Change is not only inevitable, it is necessary.
We, as humans, are one. We are all we have and all we need.
This world is one with us and it is time to take control for this world is growing tired of us. Growing tired of the selfishness and the ignorance as we glance around wondering who or what is next for us to control.
We only feel as if we have control, but we are not as strong as we believe. For we are the meek, for we are the ones that will feel the wrath of a force that is not only unseen but unknowing and stronger than our imaginations can conjure.
The time is here for my awakening.
I feel the pain of the helpless seal being clubbed in the arctic. I feel the shameless acts against that endangered dolphins that have left them only known as endangered. I feel the experiments being performed in vain on unknowing, unwilling animals and humans that are meant to better a society.