Wednesday, April 9, 2008

A Whole New World

Well, here I am again.

I know I have taken off for awhile, but I do have to say that it was an intentional sabbatical. I have written and I have wrote and I have taken for granted everything I thought I knew from just the want of knowledge.

I am on a new path. I am on a horizontal path to find the vertical path that I must journey so I will be able to save my splintered soul from ignorance.

I am an addicted, self absorbed, prejudicial, son of a bitch that has lived a life of ignorance with hopes of becoming "somebody".

I have pent up anger that shows its ugly face when the times call for understanding and resolution. I have caravaned through thirty years of life believing that I am. But, you know what? I am!

Everybody is.
Everybody is something that is merely bound to an earth that tells us what we could be. I have chosen to escape this mindset of repetition and solidarity so I too can connect to what is pure and simple.
We live in a world. A world that protects us with all of its might and glory. We do not even care.
We come up with names like god and lord and holy spirit to better understand what we will never understand.
Sometimes, most of the time actually, not understanding is the most glorious notion that a human being can feel. I thought at one time, not long ago, that understanding and knowing was the only way of knowing yourself and your capabilities.
If we did understand and know what everything is, would we still want to exist? Would we still proceed on this journey that sometimes feels like it is going nowhere?

I am addicted. I see this now.
I am addicted to nicotine. I am addicted to the feeling that overwhelms my body and my spirit with each drag that consumes me.
I am addicted to ignorance. I am addicted to stereotypes. Most of all, I am addicted to hatred.
For hatred is the explanation of all my anger, my frustrations. Hatred breeds anger, but what breeds hatred? For that is mere ignorance.
It is ignorance of the fact that there is more than "I" happening in a world full of people wanting to know: "What is in it for me?"

It is the end all be all of everything that I wish I could change.

I have chosen a new path. I have come into that proverbial light of being. I am done merely existing. I am through with the anger that only causes myself more pain with no maturation of my soul.

We all will come to a point where the perceptions of this world will leave us numb. We will all, at one time, try to break through the stone caste that keeps us grounded to a life filled with rules and regulations on our thoughts.

My caste has shattered and one piece at a time is crumbling to the holy ground that houses my being. Houses my physical world in hopes that the nonphysical world of mine will protect its life.
I feel the pain now. I feel the unfairness that mankind has bestowed upon this planet with hopes of empowerment that is only suited to the individual, not the whole. We must believe, for we are our change. Change is not only inevitable, it is necessary.

We, as humans, are one. We are all we have and all we need.
This world is one with us and it is time to take control for this world is growing tired of us. Growing tired of the selfishness and the ignorance as we glance around wondering who or what is next for us to control.

We only feel as if we have control, but we are not as strong as we believe. For we are the meek, for we are the ones that will feel the wrath of a force that is not only unseen but unknowing and stronger than our imaginations can conjure.

The time is here for my awakening.
I feel the pain of the helpless seal being clubbed in the arctic. I feel the shameless acts against that endangered dolphins that have left them only known as endangered. I feel the experiments being performed in vain on unknowing, unwilling animals and humans that are meant to better a society.

I feel!


judi said...

so now - what is your next step on your journey?????

Frank said...

Good question.
I guess it is to become more concious of my actions. To ask myself why this or that is necessary for me in a certain situation.
Pam has even said that she had noticed over the past week that my temper has subsided a bit and patience is growing.